My Funny Girls

Little kids are so funny.  I usually put what they say on Facebook for everyone to laugh at, and then I thought I should put it on here for posterity, since I print out this blog for our family archives.  So here you go, a year's worth of funny things my girls have said.


Halfway through our spaghetti dinner tonight Joya stopped and stared at her bowl. "Mom! Did you put poop in this??"
--
Daddy: Joya, who do you think will win the Broncos/Chiefs game?
Joya: The Chiefs!
Daddy: Really? How many points will they get?
Joya: One.
--
 Today we stopped in to Walmart, and I just needed one thing, so I used the self-check out and paid with cash. Joya watched as the machine spit out my change and she got very excited. "Mom!" she said. "You bought money! Let's go buy some Cheetos!"
--
 Alaina was getting upset that she can't whistle.
"Don't worry," I told her. "You'll be able to when you get older."
"No! I'll be a grown-up that can't whistle!" she wailed.
That's some long-term thinking there.
--
Question I never thought I would hear because I have only daughters: "Mom, why can't humans just pee in the backyard too?"
--
Tonight I tried a new chocolate cookie recipe. My cookies have been unmitigated disasters lately, but I had high hopes for this one. Well, yet again they weren't turning out right.
"I'm just not a baker," I sighed.
"Mom! You are special just the way you are! You just have to keep trying and you can do it!" Alaina replied.
My little cheerleader. (Didn't help the cookies, though.)
--
Me: Where should we go today?
Joya: The store.
Me: What store?
Joya: The money store.
Me: What do we get at the money store?
Joya: Dollars.
--
It's time for another episode of "Seven Dreaded Words with Joya":  "Do you want to smell my hands?"   
--
Alaina: Mom! I made a new friend today!
Me: Really? What's her name?
Alaina: I don't know. I forgot to ask!
--
Joya is currently in room time (aided by the lovely baby gate) and is singing her little heart out. It goes something like this:
"I wanna come out...but Mommy say no-o-o-o-o-o..."
--
Today at lunch I pulled out a coffee mug for Joya to drink water out of. The one I pulled out was pink with red hearts and had the words "Chocolate is for lovers" on it. "Mom! Why you using Uncle Josh's cup?" she exclaimed.
--
(Alaina offering an almond to Lee)
Alaina: Do you want one?
Lee: Um, no, it looks wet.
Alaina: It's not wet. It's just sticky!
--
Alaina has been really interested in the names of colors, as found on crayon labels. She pointed to a brown crayon. "What's this one called, Mom? Poop?"    
--
The Alphabet Song (sung by Joya):
A B E B E F G...H I CINDY NA NA NA NA P...Q R S T U V W X Y AND Z...now I mo my A B Cheese...next time own ooo sing with me.  
--
Me: What's the matter?
Joya: I need pants!
Me: Why do you need pants?
Joya: Because my neck hurts!
--
Joya: Mommy trapped me in my room!
Daddy: And how did that make you feel?
Joya: Mommy's the bad guy.
--
Me: Joya, do you want raisins?
Joya: No! I want raisins!
--
Me: Joya, get your finger out of your nose!
Joya: But Mom, I have a booger! (small smile) A cheese-booger!
--
As I was tucking Alaina in bed tonight, she had just ONE more question for me.
"What is the life cycle of a grape?" she whispered. Not sure that bed time,with her sleeping sister in the room,is the right time for that conversation. (Also, I don't know.)
--
Joya: Mommy, we go to Walmart?
Me: No, today we're going to Sprouts.
Joya: Sprouts?! I no like Sprouts!
Me: Why not?
Joya: Cause I like Gramma!
--
Sometimes when the girls finish all their lunch or dinner, I say, "Whoa! You must have been a hungry hippo!" Tonight, when I finished all MY dinner, Alaina said, "Whoa! You must have been a hungry hippo!" Somehow it didn't sound as cute when she was saying it about me...
--
Me: Next week is Daddy's birthday. What should we make him for a special birthday dinner?
Alaina: Mac and cheese!
--
Joya: Mom, I love you.
Lee: Why do you love her?
Joya: Because she gives me chocolate pudding.
--
Alaina dribbled some milk on the table during breakfast this morning.
"You can do the honors and wipe it up," she informed me.
--
Me: Joya, are you pooping? (She nods.) Do you want to put your poop in the potty?
Joya: Let me fink...no.
--
At breakfast we read the story of the parting of the Red Sea. After learning that the entire Egyptian army was lost when God caused the sea to crash down on them, Alaina asked if the Israelites then picked up all the weapons from the dead guys. Not sure where she got such a shrewd sense of military strategy...
--
Alaina: When I grow up, I want to be the President!
Me: Oh really? What does the President do?
Alaina: Well, they sit at a desk. Avery can be my lawyer!
--
Tonight at dinner:
Me: Joya, are you done?
Joya: I not done. I whapping my face.
She was.
--
Alaina: Mom, I'm going to call you the No Girl, because that's all you say!
--
Alaina: "Will you just let me have a day where I do whatever I want?"             

Christmas Quick 8

One week in Missouri = loaded Quick 5.

1.  Blessed road trips.  I completely failed in preparing for things for the girls to do.  I had a special coloring book for each of them, and that was it.  So they were bored out of their minds.  Bored Joya = Naughty Joya.  She began to realize that if she asked to go potty, then we would stop the car.  We're not in an electronic budget phase of life, so I didn't bring anything like that to keep them occupied.  My poor children have to look out the windows.  Top all that with an extra hour and half in the car due to driving through an ice storm, and maybe you can picture what our drive out was like.  (In case you were wondering, Bria screamed for almost three hours straight after lunch.  Then she slept for 30 minutes.  Then she woke up in a defeated state of mind, resigned to her fate of living the rest of her natural life strapped in that car seat.)

2.  But the trip was worth it.  We've had a deliciously full week.  Aunt Mindy treated the girls to the surprise of their life and took them to eat at Target.  We poked around for a bit before taking them to the snack area, and Alaina was so overjoyed that she just had to call Daddy.  Joya took it more in stride, but Alaina's mind was appropriately blown over the whole experience.  I'm a little afraid they'll make scene every time we go to Target from here on out, but I'll just be prepared for that.

3.  I had a lot of fails when it came to packing for this trip, but my one genius move was to bring the jumper for Bria.  We don't even use it at our house because we don't have a doorway to put it in, but I knew that the Kimbles did.  And it has been a life saver.  Bria goes nuts and has a blast.  And it's given us a break from having to watch her constantly, since now she can crawl, pull herself up to standing on couches, and climb stairs.

4.  We didn't seem to have time to make cookies at home, so Jingles came and made Ninja Bread Men for the girls to decorate.  That's right...ninjas.  Who needs boring old gingerbread men, when you can have ninjas to eat?

5. Of course, no trip to Gramma's would be complete without bathing the baby in the sink.

6.  Christmas Day was a wonderful, lazy day.  We had a delicious breakfast and opened presents.  Then we just played all day.  And ate.  And watched Alaska reality show marathons on Discovery.  All until Uncle Josh and Aunt Mindy had to go back home.  Confession: we opened presents while Bria was down for her morning nap.  Then she opened her presents when she got up.  As I knew would happen, she didn't care much.  She mostly wanted to touch things she shouldn't, no matter how many new toys she got. Thus was Bria's First Christmas.

7.  For my trip project I experimented making a child-sized beard hat.  We have friends who have boys who need them.  I had Alaina and Joya be my model, but it's too soon to tell if it will actually work for the boys.  They'll need to try it on.  But Joya sure was a cute model.

Yep, this pic will show up at her graduation and wedding.

8. We were able to see my grandparents during this trip too.  They came over for lunch one day.  I love that they live so close to Lee's parents, and that we can see them every time we come.

The girls and their GG and Papa.

The forecast for tomorrow's drive home looks sunny and in the 40s. Where were you last week, excellent driving weather??

Quick 5

Did you know Christmas is next week?

1.  Jingles has obviously been visiting Pinterest to get some naughty ideas again.  He drew faces on our family pictures

Alaina wanted to know why she got the leprechaun beard

and brought reindeer poop inside the house.

The girls swiftly and accurately deduced that the poop was indeed chocolate chips, but it lead to this conversation at breakfast:

Alaina: My tummy hurts.
Lee:  Why?  Did you eat the poop?
Alaina: No!  I was going to eat the poop after breakfast!
Tori:  No eating poop if your tummy hurts!

Maybe Jingles should not have blurred the lines between chocolate and poop.

2.  I finished Bria's stocking.  I'm afraid it's shoddy craftmanship, since I bought the wrong batting for the inside, which resulted in four broken sewing machine needles and me taking a few shortcuts just to get it done.  She may find herself with a new one next year, or when this one falls apart.

Five stockings may be too many for the bookshelf.  I need to find a new spot.

3.  We had Christmas #2 on Tuesday.  (Christmas #1 took place at the Marsh Thanksgiving.)  We didn't want to drag all the presents with us to our Kansas City Christmas, so we let the girls open a couple here.  Yes, I even wrapped Bria's.  Yes, I regret it.  One year olds don't care!  At least mine doesn't.  She was border-line irritated that we were making her rip something open.  The girl just wants to crawl.  She's not asking for much!

4. I've loosely adopted the Three Gift plan for the girls for Christmas.  I get them something to wear (sometimes a whole outfit), something educational, and a toy.  Then I have a few small gifts for their stockings, and I also try and do a family gift.  Usually the family gift arrives in the form of a DVD we can all watch together, but this year we chose to get them a mini exercise trampoline.  Those girls go CRAZY after dinner every night, and it drives us nuts.  Even on the days when they've spent a couple of hours outside, it seems like as soon as they get dinner in their tummies the crazy button goes off.  So we got them a trampoline to help burn the energy after dinner during these cold months.  They loved it.  It only took Joya five minutes to fall off and bang her mouth, but I think she'll be more careful from now on.  And maybe our winter evenings will have a little more peace if they can channel their energy into something useful.

5. Our baby Bria is quickly melting away into a toddler Bria.  Maybe it's because I've started putting her hair up.  Maybe it's those two top front teeth that are getting bigger and changing her whole face.  Maybe it's because she is constantly moving if she's awake.  I love watching them grow.

Bria helping Daddy

We leave tomorrow for our annual trek across Kansas.  One more sleep!

Quick 5

I think the Lord gave us a week of below zero weather so we would appreciate a winter full of 40 degree days.  I can live with this.

1.  Last weekend was the Christmas program and it was fantastic.  Every part.  Especially the girls' part, of course.  I fully expected Joya to get on stage and either a.) pick her nose or b.) stand there staring at the crowd of people.  She did neither.  She sang (as much as she could), she did the motions (as much as she could) and she filled in a bit of what she didn't know with free dance.  It was so cute.  Grammy and Grandad came on Saturday, and Uncle Nick, Aunt Jamie, Naomi, Oliver and Elisabeth surprised us by coming on Sunday.  Alaina was so happy to see all her family and sad to see them go.

2.  Bria is now crawling on hands and knees.  I thought she was going to follow in Joya's footsteps and army crawl until she walked, but she figured it out.  We block off the dining room with a pile of pillows, but that doesn't stop her.  She launches herself over the pile onto the greener pastures of the dirty tile floor with ease.  She's also showing signs of pulling up on things, which means I can no longer put her in a room and leave to do my own thing.  She needs hard core supervision. 

3.  Lo and behold, Alaina has learned how to whistle!  She thought she never would.  It's faint, but it's there, and with practice she'll be whistling very soon.  She's so excited about the skill that I almost forget how annoying it could turn out to be.

4.  We've been having fun with Jingles the Elf.  He's floated around the house a bit, and has proven to be a bit naughty.  He TP'd our Christmas tree one day and stole our stockings and hung up underwear instead.  Sometimes I have to wake the girls up in the morning and it's funny to see them go from a dead sleep to jumping out of bed shouting, "I have to go find Jingles!"  Our Jingles is not quite as creative as some of the elves you see on Pinterest, but the girls are having fun.

5.  This may not seem like a big deal to most, but it is to us: we got a new bedspread this week.  We've had the same one on our bed since we got married, and I thought that 9 1/2 years was a fine lifespan for one.  Thanks to some Christmas money from my grandparents and a well-timed sale, we found this gem.  I know it's a first world thing, but it really does make things seem fresh to have new things.

Hope your week is full of Christmas cheer!

Quick 5

The weather outside is frightful.

1.  Bria has two new teeth already!  Her top two popped through early this week.  I guess I'd have to dig to really find out, but I think she's way ahead of her sisters in the teeth area.  I felt like the other two were toothless for a long time, and then waited long periods of time before getting subsequent teeth once they started showing up.  But not Bria.  She's just getting the nasty business over with, I guess.  Why put off for tomorrow what you can do today?

No picture of the teeth.  Just my dismal attempt at getting a nice picture of my three girls in front of the Christmas tree.

2.  I had the privilege of calling the school attendance line to report Alaina absent from school for the first time ever this week.  On Monday afternoon we had the stomach flu blow through the house.  It started with Alaina, who I believe I've already said is a delightful stomach flu patient. She makes it to the toilet every time.  She was sad and barfy and quiet for about 6 hours that afternoon.  Joya was cheerful and mentioned a couple of times that her stomach hurt, but we didn't believe her.  Then she threw up all over the couch.  Then we did believe her.  But she was just a one-hit wonder.  So I kept Alaina home on Tuesday since she had been sick the evening before.  She took two naps on Tuesday, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.  Then by dinner she was back to her perky self.  It's sad to have sick kids, but the up side is it is the only time I actually enjoy cleaning.  I feel like I am doing battle with germs, and with each swipe of disinfectant I'm winning.

3.  It was good that the girls were better and 24-hours barf-free by Tuesday evening, because that was a big rehearsal for the Christmas program at church this weekend.  Alaina and Joya will be joining the other kids to sing a couple of songs on stage, and they needed to be there for practice.  Last year Alaina completely missed the Christmas program due to an active stomach flu, so it was nice that it hit our house early this year.

P.S. Come to our Christmas Program!  It's during all three services at Valley View Christian Church this weekend, on Saturday at 4:00 and Sunday at 9:00 and 10:30.  There is an incredible play, along with the cuteness of the kids.  You may or may not see Joya pick her nose.  No promises.

4.  Alaina had a big project due this week.  They had to pick a country and make a poster about how that country celebrates the holidays.  Alaina chose England, because she and I have a dream to take a mother/daughter trip to London someday.  I don't remember doing big projects like this when I was in kindergarten, but it was fun anyway.

5.  I've been teaching the girls the fine art of layering as we plod through this arctic blast.  I thought Alaina was really going to fight me on it, because it does feel a little weird at first, but she didn't.  They've been teaching me that it takes 5-10 minutes just to bundle them all up to leave the house.  I start with Joya, then finish up Alaina, then bundle myself, then bundle Bria.  It's worth it, because while it is frightfully cold, we've been relatively comfortable.  Also, I love Colorado sunshine.  It's 4 degrees out, but the intense sunshine makes it feel just a little warmer, especially sitting in the car.  This is a nice change of pace, I suppose, but I hope it's not an indicator of what our entire winter will be like.

Lee getting ready to shovel the driveway.  I'm this close to making one of those beard beanies for ME to wear.

Joya and Bria ready to run errands and pick Alaina up from school.  (Joya wasn't happy with me.)

This is an excellent weekend for soup, is it not?