__
Daddy: Why can't vegetables be your reward for eating all your dinner?
Alaina: Well...10 + 10 equals 20.
Alaina: Well...10 + 10 equals 20.
A classic example of If You Don't Like The Line of Questioning, Just Change the Subject.
__
Alaina: Mom, what's 'film?'
#dinosaurtechnology
#dinosaurtechnology
__
We had a discussion tonight about married people having babies.
Lee: Just because people are married doesn't mean they have babies.
Tori: Yeah, Uncle Josh and Aunt Mindy are married, and they don't have babies.
Alaina: What??? I did NOT know that Uncle Josh and Aunt Mindy were married!!
Lee: Just because people are married doesn't mean they have babies.
Tori: Yeah, Uncle Josh and Aunt Mindy are married, and they don't have babies.
Alaina: What??? I did NOT know that Uncle Josh and Aunt Mindy were married!!
__
That was it.
__
Joya's Random Declaration at breakfast today:
"Mommy, I will never do naughty things ever again!" #emptypromise
__ Alaina: "Mom, what do earwigs eat?"
Lee: "Little girls."
#parentingwin
__
Joya: I'm tight like a birdhouse!
Lee: What are you, a rapper?
Joya: I get my poop, I get my poop, I get my poop, I get my poop on!
#shegetsitfromherfather #guessyouhadtobethere
__
Alaina at 6:40 this morning: "Ugh! I can't believe I slept the whole night through, instead of staying awake and watching out for ninjas!"
__
Joya: It's almost Easter!
Me: No, Easter is over. Next up is Mother's Day.
Joya: Again?!?!
__
Joya: But Uncle Josh does it!
Lee: Do I look like Uncle Josh?
Alaina: Yes! Because you're bald and have no hair!
#notsurewhoshouldbeinsulted
__
Joya: Oh no! I forgot to get my Mother's Day card...
Me: That's okay, sweetie.
Joya: ...for Dad!!
__
Me: Joya! You're naked!
Joya: (smiling shyly) Thank you!
__
Joya: After Mom's birthday it's MY BIRTHDAY!!
Me: Right, but it's three and a half months away. We have to go through July, August and September, and THEN it'll be October.
Joya: Right! After Mom's birthday is my birthday!
#gonnabealongthreemonths
__
Me: PVC pipe is fairly inexpensive, right?
Lee: Why?
Me: Oh, I'm looking at a DIY project on Pinterest.
Lee: No, PVC is terribly expensive. They have to import it from PVCville.
#probablynottrue
__
Joya: I sooooo a genius!
__
Alaina: Hey Mom! Why did the bee go to the doctor?
Me: Why?
Alaina: Because he had hives!
Me: Ha ha ha.
Alaina: (big sigh) I know that was a fake laugh.
#busted
__
Me: Alaina, what did you think of dinner tonight?
Alaina: You know when we get to fly to Grandma Kimble's and spend a week? You should make this dinner then.
#shedidntlikeit
__
Me: Ew. Alaina, your room kind of stinks. It smells like grilled cheese.
Alaina: Isn't it wonderful??
#perspective
__
Joya: Mom, I'm gonna miss you at Cubbies!
Me: No you won't. You'll be too busy having fun.
Joya: No! I won't play games and I won't have any fun!
Me: Oh. Do you want to stay home then?
Joya: NO!! I want to go!
#3yearoldsarewishywashy #moodylittlegirl #goodluckCubbiesleaders
__
Me: I don't know if you know this or not, but girls like having pretty things around. You should know this since you live with four women.
Lee: Well, you've got me hanging around all week, so you're welcome.
__
Me: I'm rooting for the comic.
Alaina: What's a comic?
Lee: A guy who thinks he's funny.
Alaina: Oh! DAD's a comic!
#outofthemouthsofbabes
__
Heard at the dinner table tonight:
Lee - Well, in this illustration, the ox is your mom...
#biblelessons
__
Me: I have a big project I have to do for Grandad.
Alaina: Why do you have to do a project for Grandad?
Me: Because I work for Grandad.
Joya: No! Grandad works for GRAMMY!!
#sotrue
__
Lee: I knew a man once named Neil PR Magnuson. He's one of the strongest guys I ever knew.
Alaina: DAD!! You know a man stronger than that!
Lee: I do? Who?
Alaina: God!
#Jesusjukedbyasixyearold
__
Time to play Guess Alaina's Personality Type!
Alaina: Can I stay out here with you?
Me: No. You need to hang out in there because you haven't had much alone time lately.
Alaina: I know! Isn't it great?
__
Joya: Mom, are we running low on bread?
Me: No, we have plenty of bread.
Joya: Then why I not eating toast for breakfast?
__
Today Alaina's school was having a little program for Veterans. Alaina had a line to say and everything.
Me: Have fun saying your line in the program!
Alaina: I will! I'm so excited to see a Veteran!
#shethinksveteransareunicornsorsomething
__
Alaina: Why did Naomi and Oliver get to sleep over at Grammy's?
Me: Because Aunt Jamie and Uncle Nick had something to do, so Grammy and Grandad needed to watch them.
Joya: I wish you and Dad had something to do!
__
Lee: Here Joya, drink this.
Joya: But I think it's soggy!
Lee: There's no such thing as soggy water.
#4yearoldlogic
__
Joya: Mom, I'm thirsty!
Me: Hi Thirsty, I'm Friday. Come over Saturday and we'll have a sundae.
Joya: Is that TRUE???
#jokefail
__
Joya: Dad, why you still in your jammies?
Dad: Because that's how I roll. Are you new here?
